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Mr. Potato Head will now be genderless


Hasbro has announced that it will be removing the gender from the classic toy Mr. Potato Head. Virtue signaling is particularly important for Big Business these days, since we are in the midst of a massive transfer of wealth from citizens to corporations brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic.

But if you’re concerned about the ongoing chaos and collapse, this should brighten your day: Mr. Potato Head is now just “Potato Head,” in order to ensure that “all feel welcome in the Potato Head world.”

If this seems like a solution without a problem, you’ll be happy to know that the LGBT lobbyists over at GLAAD were thrilled. “Hasbro is helping kids to simply see toys as toys, which encourages them to be their authentic selves outside of the traditional gender norms,” announced GLAAD’s chief comms officer, Rich Ferraro. Ferraro failed to notice that whatever this is, allowing toys to be “simply toys” it certainly isn’t.

Hasbro must be thrilled by how much traction their move got from the LGBT crowd considering how little effort they put into it. They’re not even changing their Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head characters; they’re just dropping the “Mr.” from the branding on the package. In fact, the company tweeted that not much was changing at all: “While it was announced today that the POTATO HEAD brand name & logo are dropping the ‘MR.’ I yam proud to confirm that MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD aren’t going anywhere and will remain MR. & MRS. POTATO HEAD.”